Alone Time

The idea of being alone used to terrify me. I've insisted for a while now that I want to have roommates forever, and I've always imagined myself being in the company of friends and loved ones at all times. However, I've spent a good amount of time over the last four months with myself. After moving out of my college town and then to a new area where I don't know many people, I've had to embrace having times where I just hang out with myself.

Four years ago, I would've been desperate to fill free time by hanging out with someone, but I've learned to love hanging out with myself.

I'm sure by now, everybody has heard some form of the phrase, "You can't truly love others until you love yourself." I've heard the phrase in several variations, but lately I've been able to see the truth in it a little clearer. I've noticed that when I spend more time alone, I better appreciate the time that others give me.

By using my own time for what I want to do when I'm alone, I've realized the value of others using their free time to spend with me. Further, I appreciate my own time a little more. I understand myself, what makes me happy, what relaxes me, etcetera. I think these last few months have (hopefully) made me a better person, and I am thankful for it.

I used to think it would be hard to fill up time just being alone, but it really isn't. I thrive off of to-do lists, so I usually set an itinerary for myself, but sometimes it's nice to just go sit at a café alone and sip tea while listening to the music playing. Hanging out with yourself doesn't need to be some grand adventure, some date-for-one to prove you can do it — though it can be. Just put on your favorite music and write, read, dance around, whatever puts you at ease.

After having more and more alone time, I slowly started to notice a change when I was around others. I was more excited to see them, even if it was just for a short time. I realized that not always surrounding myself with others gave me time to just exist without having to keep up energy with others. That being said, this time alone usually restored my energy so I was ready for whatever when I had plans.

At my core, I'm an introverted extrovert, meaning I'm without a doubt an outgoing and expressive person, but it takes me a little while to come out of my shell. This hasn't, and won't, change. If anything, it's helped me prepare for meeting new people.

I don't expect to want to always stay in now just because I enjoyed doing it for a few months, but I think I'll enjoy my alone time a bit more. When I get time to myself, I imagine I'll appreciate it instead of dreading the idleness. When I get time with others, I'll respect it more. I can be alone without being lonely, but I still love to be in the company of others. I'm thankful for that.