grow where you're planted

This past weekend, I moved out of my college town. It was incredibly difficult saying goodbye to my small, plain, third-floor apartment and I was truly at a loss — why was it so hard to part ways with a physical space? It didn't take long for me to realize that parting from my apartment wasn't what really hurt, it was leaving the place in which I had so many memories — the place where I grew.

I lived in my college town for four years split into one dorm and two apartments. I was a different person, in a sense, each time I first arrived and finally left a residency. My time in college pushed me to grow in ways I never expected — my lifestyle changed, my personality adapted, my sense of humor definitely got better and my values were strengthened. It was hard driving away from a town that fostered all of this.

When you have a town that is your town — whether it's your college town or the first time you moved away from home — the independence can be blinding at first. Suddenly, you're the one deciding when you get up, what you eat, what you do at any given time. This freedom almost inevitably results in growth. You have to decide who you surround yourself with, what passions you throw yourself into and how you want to be seen by the rest of the world. These decisions sculpt who we are into who we hope to become. College, for me, was full of this growth.

Don't get me wrong, at my core I am the same person I was four years ago when I moved away from my North Carolina hometown and into a shoe-box sized dorm in mountain-town Virginia. I can still see anyone I knew before college and still be able to pick up with them with little to no issue. But I'm more than who I was then. I feel more myself and less like a carbon copy of who I felt like I should be. I faced challenges from academic rigor to unexpected social needs and had to decide how to handles these conflicts on my own. I made new friends that each taught me life lessons just by being their authentic selves. I tried new things, pushed my comfort zone, found my limits and explored my passions. I joined (and dropped) clubs, went out for leadership positions that tested my time and patience and I learned how to step back from things when I wasn't happy. I'm not saying college made me anywhere near perfect, but it pushed me to think for myself about who I actually want to be.

Someone from my high school visited me during my freshman year. After spending a weekend with me, she told me Iw as the most myself that she had ever seen. I fully believe that I have become more myself every year since then. It's hard to leave a place that challenged me and pushed me to be the person I wanted to be, of course. But I have to think, I was certain I knew who I was in high school yet I loved every change and challenge at college. Who knows what this next chapter will hold!