Growing out of Jealousy

People don't like to admit that they get jealous — myself included. But it happens. I find myself getting jealous sometimes at the most trivial things, like when I see that someone has a similar hobby as me but they might do it better. Thankfully, after that fleeting moment of jealousy, I immediately gave myself a reality check. You can be happy for someone else's victory without it taking away from what you are. Someone's success doesn't inherently mean you failed. Every once and a while, I need that reminder.

It's so easy to get caught up in jealousy. We're all used to comparing how our lives measure up with others -- especially on social media. This isn't a novel concept. I've often heard people use the quote, "comparison is the thief of joy."

But sometimes it just happens.

Sometimes you can't help it. I once came home from a yoga class at college and turned on the TV to watch New Girl, which at the time featured Megan Fox. Can't make this up — Megan Fox was wearing the same athletic outfit that I was at that exact moment. That being said, she also had the luxury of having hair and makeup done for TV. But a instant comparison was inevitable, if only for a moment until I moved on and enjoyed the episode.

It doesn't really take Megan Fox to evoke accidental jealousy, though. It's really around the corner at any given time. We're only human — we're bound to get jealous every once and a while.

But the key to it all is what we do after that initial ping of jealousy.

Do we let jealousy fester? Do we let it build and manifest in misplaced anger? Or do we accept it and move on — allowing it to be a motivator by taking the victories of others to remind ourselves of just what is possible with hard work.

There's a third option though. Just because you have a fleeting moment of jealousy doesn't mean you actually want what they have; it may be more of the feeling you associate with what they have. Take the Megan Fox phenomenon for example. My one fleeting moment of jealousy or comparison does not mean I want to work to look like her. Just like if ever feel jealous of Mindy Kaling, Tina Fey or others for their success in their industry, it doesn't mean I aspire to be a comedy writer — I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. Instead, it means I'll push past a passing moment of jealousy and just be happy for those who have worked hard and got what they wanted. If anything, their successes end up inspiring me.

Really, jealousy is what you make of it.