no complaints here

Until recently, I never really realized how much I complain. A few weeks ago, I decided I wanted to attempt to go one week without complaining. When I told people what I was doing, several people told me they didn't think I complained that much. What I discovered instead was that none of us ever realize just how much we complain.

Last week, I did my very best not to complain. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

The start of the week had a few blunders. I would start a complaint, realize what I was doing and cut the sentence off. I would either have to reroute what I was saying to become a positive statement or I would have to stop talking about it altogether. I kept this tactic throughout the rest of the week. It eventually started to change the way I looked at the trials I faced in my day-to-day life. I love talking and sharing stories with others, so in order to be able to share these stories I had to have a positive outlook on it.

I don't know if my weeks are usually as crazy as last week was, but it felt like last week was full of unexpected challenges. It was going to be one of the busiest weeks I've had in months regardless, including several shifts at work, big plans, multiple friends visiting town and my roommate's last week living with me. On top of that, several things scheduled into my week had to be rescheduled once or twice and I even got a little sick. I saw all of this as a challenge — if I could get through that crazy week without complaining, I could really handle anything.

One of the things I noticed last week was why I complain in the first place. When I don't know how to connect with someone in conversation, I find myself starting a complaint over a known mutual grievance — like a task I know my coworkers also hate doing. While it feels cathartic to complain with others and bond over the experience, it also surrounds everyone involved in a cloud of hostility. Once I stepped back and listened to the complaint-oriented conversations, I was able to see the impact.

I don't mean to seem high and mighty about not complaining for one week. I've already complained a few times this week since my little challenge ended. It feels good to tell someone why something is unfair and to have others listen. But most of the time when we complain, it's because the deed is done and we're mad we can't change it. There are plenty of things to complain about if you think you can make a difference to improve it. Otherwise, you're just surrounding yourself in toxicity for no good reason other than to vent.

I didn't do last week alone. My roommate and my boyfriend held me accountable to not complain, while going about their lives as usual. Apparently, they wouldn't notice when I would start to complain until I would stop myself and correct it. I believe this is because we're so used to complaining in our daily lives that we're oblivious to it. My friend Taylor decided to go without complaining for the week with me, which made the entire experience so much easier. Having a dear friend experience similar changes in mindset helped confirm that reducing complaining actually can have an impact on the way we view the world around us. Taylor told me she began to dwell "less on unpleasantries" and got over trials easier. Similarly, the more I look back on things last week I would usually complain about, the more I'm happier they happened.

Of course there will always be things to complain about. It's difficult to turn everything into a happy ending, because somethings just suck sometimes. Last week really showed me, though, that our mindset has a huge impact on how we let these things impact us. Try going a week, a day, an hour without complaining and see if it changes your outlook on life. It did for me.