opening up

Communication is so important. We develop trust by sharing with others and being open. Being vulnerable with others can also help us as individuals — when I share personal stories on my blog, it makes me feel a sense of ownership of my stories and it provides me comfort to know that others care.

Being vulnerable with others doesn't have to mean sharing your whole life story — it just means going past your comfort zone. When I'm first getting to know someone, I probably won't dive in and share my most embarrassing story or my deepest secret. I might, however, open up about something simple and relatable, like what this recent transitional phase in my life has felt like.

I've noticed that when I share with others, they're more likely to share their life with me. People like to feel trusted and respected. Whether it's with coworkers at a new job, new friends or a budding relationship, showing you trust someone enough to be comfortable around them helps them trust you. As a result, they may be more comfortable to share with you as well.

Of course, you should never be vulnerable with someone solely in the hopes that they will return the favor. Nobody owes you their emotions. If someone trusts you enough to open up to you, don't take that for granted. Show your respect and appreciation for their trust by being an active listener and engaging with what they have to say, just like you'd want anyone to do when you open up. Then be as open as you like around them as you continue trust and see where it goes from there.

I tend to overshare. I get it from my mom (who I'm sure will call me when she reads this). Because of my talkative nature, being vulnerable with others can come fairly easily to me. I love getting to know others and hearing people talk about what they're passionate about. However, not everyone is eager to be open, and that's okay.

If you find it difficult to be open with others, start small. Think of something that recently happened in your life — a funny piece of spam mail you received, a new show you started that you just love, a strange interaction you had at a grocery store. Little stories like this are stepping stones to finding a real connection with someone. Your new friend might be inspired by the reason you love watching "30 Rock," and you might find some previously unknown commonality. Openness doesn't have to spring out of nowhere. Engage with someone in natural dialogue.

Personally, the times that I've pushed myself out of my comfort zone and been vulnerable around people have strengthened my relationships and my confidence. I have learned so much about how to care for others just by the empathy I've seen from others when I've been open. I'm not the master of conversation or communication, and I understand that everyone approaches vulnerability differently. But next time you want to get closer to someone, consider pushing yourself past your comfort zone — even if only a little.